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A beach house rental on Fire Island, simultaneously occupied by residents of a summer past, present and future.
COUNTESS: That was the summer I disappeared. I don’t remember where I thought I was going to go. Or what effect I was trying to achieve. I guess I just wanted to know if I’d be missed. And I went east, away from civilization. Don’t ask me what I was thinking. I didn’t get very far before the skies opened in a thunderstorm. I went and hid under the porch of a house. But the owner, this old hag in a turban and sunglasses, saw me and came after me. With a shotgun, no less. (With a Nordic accent:) “Get avay! Dis is private! Private! Private! Private!” She was still screaming “Private!” after I’d run screaming into the underbrush. I don’t think it even occurred to me to get on the ferry and go back to the mainland. I just hid in the woods. This was back in the day when you could hide in the woods and if you got bitten by a tick, you didn’t immediately think you had a lethal disease.
WADE: The woods? Which woods?
COUNTESS: You know.
WADE: You hid in the meat rack?
COUNTESS: And got quite an education.
WADE: Lucky you weren’t raped.
COUNTESS: Well, there wasn’t quite the same kind of activity back then.
WADE: Oh, please. I heard Triceratops used to go there for a blow job.
COUNTESS: Well, back then youth wasn’t such a precious commodity.
GENRE: Drama
RUN TIME: Full-length, three acts, 2 hours
CAST: 9m/2f
SET: Single set
